Derrek parked to the side of the road. His flashing red and blue lights adding yet another set of epileptic triggers to the six other cars already there. Ahead he spotted the massacre. The truck was on its side in the middle of the road but most of the cops were behind it, at the real scene.
He opened his door and got out to get a better look. Even from afar the body was visible. He couldn't see the legs but the body was fully covered. The flashing lights cast a horrid image as he saw drips falling down the arms. They were right to call it a massacre, a true waste of pudding. Both vanilla and chocolate pudding covered the tree from root to crown. Such a waste, Derrek thought.
From the car tracks he saw, he expected the DeliCup truck had drifted off the road and fell to its side. A road sign had caught the top of the trailer and tore it open, catapulting the thousand cups of pudding into the surroundings, most of them at the big oak tree.
Beaver Dam Street was a connection road, not a lot of traffic but enough at the moment. Everyone wanted a scoop of the Pudding Tree, he'd have to keep them out of the way for the cleaners. Derrek got to his trunk, popped it and took out a few rolls of line. As he closed his car, he spotted his chief with a few others close by the tree. He walked toward them.
To the left of the truck, he saw an ambulance with a man sitting on its open back. He had a blanket around him. Truck chauffeur. The man didn't look harmed in any way.
"Took you long enough." His chief said as Derrek neared the group. Derrek opened his mouth to reply but the chief spoke on. "The cameras are getting really annoying, you take the left side of the tree until the front of the truck and keep them out. Bill, you keep open at the back of the truck so the fire department can get through. Make sure to bring out some lights, it'll be dark soon and we'll be here a while." The chief looked up the tree. "Damn jell-o"
"Pudding." Derrek said before he could think. The chief turned his head quickly, his bushy eyebrows in a frown.
"Of course you'd know, wise ass. Get taping, Kane." Derrek made sure to hurry, Chief was always grumpy at the end of the day.

No need to add more salt to the wound, it's already sugared enough. Derrek had to step over a few spots of pudding but got past without getting dirty. It was mostly grass this side of the road, on the other side was a small creak. Lucky for the beavers it was this side, they'd have a clogged dam otherwise. Derrek found a small bush to start his tape and attached it to the front of the truck. A few cameras were focused on the tree but most were trying to get to the truck driver. A colleague from another precinct was keeping them off.
A female journalist spotted Derrek, and alas Derrek made eye contact. She started toward him, her cameraman following, keeping her center in shot, well, not really her center...
"Nothing to see here." Derrek said. "Please move along, ma'am, we need to keep this spot open."
"Vanilla or chocolate?" The woman asked. Derrek looked at her incredulous, is she serious? She kept watching him expectantly —the cameraman circled a bit so he had the shot from the side. She repeated, "Vanilla or chocolate?"
"Both, I'm a mixer." Derrek said. The woman rolled her eyes and shook her head at the cameraman. He dropped the lens a bit.
"Could you just make a choice? Preferably vanilla." She said and didn't wait for Derrek's reply. She nodded at the camera man, who pointed up his lens and she came again: "Vanilla or Chocolate?"
"Vanilla?" Derrek said, looking straight into the lens. Is she expecting more? "With chocolate sprinkles." He added. She sighed openly.
"No good, you can cut it off, Miles. We don't have anything here." The camera man tapped a button and let the camera down from his shoulder. Derrek couldn't believe his ears.
"'The Pudding Tree' isn't a nice enough headliner?" Derrek blurted out. The woman gave him a fierce look, he could almost see smoke coming out of her ears.
"No wounded, no story." She said, before storming off… or well, trying to, she almost broke her ankle on a patch of Chocolate pudding just behind her.
Almost had your wounded. Derrek turned around quickly, coughing his laugh away.
"Miles!" she shouted. The cameraman also had a grin on his face, he gave Derrek a bud of his head and followed behind her, stepping over the elongated patch of chocolate pudding.

Poor guy, he has even less of a voice than I do.
Derrek expanded his perimeter a bit further to connect with the ambulance line. The other police officer gave him a nod, which Derrek returned. In the other man's eyes he could see how he felt. This was going to be a long night.
Derrek walked back toward the tree. His chief was still looking up at it but he also seemed to be answering a call. He didn't hear exactly what he was saying but he could hear him sigh audibly into the phone. Seems like something fun, Bill will have to go I guess. The Chief turned around and locked eyes with Derrek. Derrek froze, like a deer looking into headlights. Oh please no, I'll take line duty instead of anything else. The moment seemed to drag on for what felt like eternity. He could see a moment of doubt pass over the Chief's face but he broke the lock and turned further to the backside of the truck.
"Bill!" He shouted, the phone still against his ear. Someone just went deaf at the other side. Bill was at his line at the back of the trailer, some cameras distracting him. He turned toward the Chief and also spotted the phone. Relief shone bright on his face, but surprise overwhelmed him as his first step cracked open a vanilla cup. Its content dragged away his foot from under him and he fell to the side. He flung his arms and took a quick step which made his recovery almost legendary, almost. Instead, his left knee landed in a patch of chocolate, dragging him even further as his right shoulder and arm caught vanilla. He let out an *ugh* sound as the cameras started laughing behind him.
"God-damn it, Bill. What are you getting mixed up in?" The chief said, which broke Derrek just a little more.
The fall was already spectacular but this, he couldn't keep in. A snicker escaped through his nose and he would have laughed out loud if the Chief's hawk eyes hadn't locked onto him.
"You think that's funny, Kane?" Derrek saw the rage in his eyes, almost barely contained. And he knew at that moment… "Well, let me make another joke. Get in your car, you're answering the call."
I fucked up.

NEW CHAPTER

Chief knew Derrek didn't like answering house calls. He had applied for a desk job some 2 years ago. "Soon. But first you need to earn your stripes." Chief had said. I'll be retired by the time I get to a desk job this way.
"Destination to the right." The robot female voice told him. Derrek activated his right blinker as he spotted the last house, just before a muddy farm road split off the main road. He stopped in front of the house, number 65, the caller.
There was still some light but it'd be dark within the hour. He grabbed